She’s here, she’s finally here. How long has my very inmost being cried out for my child and now I can touch her face, kiss her lips and love her with a fierceness that was born ages ago. The Joy is like an under ground stream, bubbling up to the surface and quenching what was once dry. She is our blessing, our perfect portion, our Joyful gift.
And as I was sitting one Sunday listening to a teaching on Hannah the Lord began to speak to me about the journey my heart and soul have been taken on to get to this point……
1 Samuel 1:5 “But to Hannah Elkanah gave a double portion because he loved her and the Lord had closed her womb.”
Now I’ve wondered over that verse before so it really grabbed my attention when the pastor asked “Why would God allow Elkanah’s hateful wife to have children but close the womb of a woman with the heart to be an amazing mother?”
Because deep calls unto deep. Sometimes we hurt so we can reach our true greatness in God. Hannah wanted a son and year after year she traveled to Shiloh with her husband to worship the Lord and to cry out for her son. But each year that went by with no son caused Hannah to grieve and weep bitterly, all while she was provoked and tormented by Elkanah’s other wife. But as Hannah’s grief was mounting something else was growing, a desperateness. God called her out to be desperate, desperate enough for God, for more of Him. You see, there is a fine tuned frequency we reach in God when we become desperate. His heart is pricked by this desperate frequency and drawn down to it.
1 Samuel 1:10-14 “In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord. And she made a vow, saying ‘O Lord Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the Lord for all the days of his life, and no razor will ever be used on his head.’ As she kept on praying to the Lord, Eli observed her mouth. Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk and said to her, ‘How long will you keep on getting drunk? Get rid of your wine.’ “
Hannah had reached her desperate place, so much so that she cried out all her tears and lost her voice. In desperateness she continued to pray and search out God in her Spirit, beseeching Him with such passion and angst that she appeared drunk. And while her voice was silent her Spirit cried out “I need a son!” And God finally answered quietly “I need a prophet.” And Hannah cried out louder “I NEED A SON!” and God replied “I need a prophet. You need a blessing and I need someone to save my nation.”
And so while Hannah’s years of hurt and strife were driving her to her blessing and her destiny it was also bringing about an appointed time. God answered her cry and gave her a son, Samuel. Her son was born at an exact time when God’s people were in dire need of a prophet. God called a woman out of a nobody house, caused her heart’s desire to drive her to His heart until they were in perfect alignment. Hannah got her son, God got His prophet, and a nation was changed.
So here I sit, looking back over so many years of hurt and strife, years of desperateness. Spans of time where I pricked the heart of God and He came down to me. We spent precious time in each other’s company where I learned not just my heart but of His heart too. We spent time in intimacy that can never have a value placed on it. I am able to be Nora’s mother now because I spent those years yearning for her and experiencing God’s heart changing comfort and love.
Nora was born into an appointed time, His time and no one else’s. And just like her mother, there are desire’s in her heart that once called out by the One and brought into alignment with Him, have the power to change a nation, even the world.
1 Samuel 4:1 “And Samuel’s word came to all of Israel.”